Let's Read: Vampire Academy (w/ Meg Heymdia!): Chapter 4

Chapter 4

In which Rose and Lissa continue to be soulbonded, Unnamed Doll Girl GETS A NAME, and Rose is very chill about everything to do with Lissa's safety. (One of those things may be a lie.)

(Catch up on chapter 3!)

When we last left off, Unnamed Doll Girl was in the middle of insulting Lissa's standards and Rose was in the middle of SHUTTING THAT SHIT DOWN.

"'Don't you ever touch me again. You screw with me and I'll screw you right back.'" [snaps Unnamed Doll Girl].

....

"What an opening that was. Only a headshake from Lissa stopped me from unleashing any number of hilarious comebacks."

(Rose and I are on the same page re: the incredibly hetero beginning to this chapter.)

Rose gets this STILL UNNAMED GIRL to fuck off by referencing a thing she did when she was last at the Academy that has gone down in the annals of school history (because Rose is JUST THAT COOL):

"If you ever mess with either of us again, I'll break you in half. If you don't believe me, go ask Dawn Yarrow about what I did to her arm in ninth grade."

*_______* aw, Rose, your violent ways started young. (Also I have literally no idea how old ninth graders are. AMERICAN SCHOOLS MAKE NO SENSE TO ME I'M SORRY.) This story works on Unnamed Doll Girl, who retreats and goes away with Aaron. Aaron was the dude form chapter 2, Lissa's ex, who was more into her than she was to him and now I guess he's with Unnamed Doll Girl, so that's clearly worked out real well for him. 

Rose is clearly as fed up with not having anything to call Unnamed Doll Girl as I am because she asks Lissa if she knows who that is but Lissa doesn't. Lissa does know that it's time to feed. See, this is what I love about vampire stories. Everything is going along like a regular story, like, conflict! school drama! friendship protection! and then BAM something super creepy like the word FEED rocks up. AH, VAMPIRE SCHOOL. 

Rose makes a valiant effort to hide how much the idea of Lissa feeding from anyone else pings ALL of her NOPE parts and the pair of them go off to where the Moroi are provided with blood donor volunteers. The whole thing creeps Rose the fuck out, not just because of her raging jealousy about Lissa feeding from anyone else (TEXTUAL CANONICAL JEALOUSY, JUST SO WE'RE ALL VERY CLEAR ON THIS) but because the vampire world teaches everyone to be disgusted at the dependency that these volunteers develop on the Moroi, essentially getting hooked on being fed from. This strikes me as a little hypocritical, seeing as the vampires, you know, also depend on the volunteers to STAY ALIVE but there we go. Vampires are apparently arrogant in every fictional universe. 

"I swallowed, watching Lissa drink. I couldn't see any blood but I could imagine it. A surge of emotion grew in my chest: longing. Jealousy. I averted my eyes, staring at the floor. [...] But I couldn't help myself, couldn't help the way I felt as I recalled the bliss and rush of a vampire's bite."

Sure, Rose. Of any vampire's bite. That's what those feelings are. Suuuuuuuuuure.

I am 100% sure this is not the last time I will use this gif in these recaps.

When Lissa is done, they head to the canteen so Rose can get some food and also get over her ragng, raging jealousy at the same time. To do this, she .... compares her schedule to Lissa's. YEAH THAT'LL HELP. I mean, we haven't seen a lot of Lissa's feelings at this point in the book but, like, haven't we all been much more into a lady than she's been into us? Because at what point in that situation has spending MORE time with her ever helped? YES THAT'S RIGHT, WE HAVE A WINNER, IT'S NEVER AT ALL. Anyway, Rose and Lissa have the same classes after lunch except Lissa is taking an advanced maths class but Rose is more interested in why Lissa is taking Elemental Basics, because it's a sophomore class and Lissa is a senior. I assume that means something to Americans but it means nothing to me (oh, Vienna) because American schools are completely alien to me oh my god I am so confused all the time.

Lissa gets all embarrassed about taking the sophomore but not just because it's a sophomore class and she's older. It's because senior Moroi specialize and Lissa hasn't specialized yet.

~~~*~~~AW YEAH DEPARTMENT OF EXPOSITION~~~*~~~

Moroi are different from Strigoi in another way: Moroi can use magic. Adult Moroi specialize in one of the elements when they learn which one they have an affinity for.

Wait, that's a different thing.

 In Ye Olde Times, Moroi used their magic to, like, deal with natural disasters and the like but they don't so much do that anymore. The important thing is that specializing is like going through puberty - so Lissa is being teased for that like we might be teased for not having boobs or w/e (I did not have this problem at school but I did have a v sexy moustache until I discovered the wonders of Jolen cream bleach. Ah, the mysteries of womanhood).

~~~*~~~AWAY FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF EXPOSITION AGAIN~~~~*~~~~

Rose and Lissa go sit with Natalie, Probably Evil Uncle Victor Dashkov's daughter (I think?) - at any rate, she's Lissa's sort of cousin - who is eager to get to the heart of all the rumours about the two of them. This is going to come up a lot in this chapter but, like, no one is ever like SO ARE YOU TWO A THING OR WHAT which is what I would immediately assume if two super close BFFs ran away from school and lived together for two years. Right? I mean, right? Natalie is very interested in what Lissa did for blood and Lissa COMPLETELY freezes up. Rose, on the other hand, leaps right in with a prepared lie about humans at parties all looking to get high somehow and it being easy to get them to let you feed on them and blah blah lies lies definitely not essentially banging Lissa blah blah lies LIES. Lissa is super grateful about this but Rose just sort of brushes it off.

OKAY HOLD UP. This is going to come up again in this chapter so I'm going to talk about it now. Throughout this chapter, there's a real emphasis on the comparison between vampire-style feeding and sex except, somehow, when it comes to Rose and Lissa. Admittedly, the book is from Rose's POV so it makes sense that if Rose is trying her best to denial her way through that, then so is the narrative, but, like, idk. Why make the comparison so explicit if it's not going to be a Thing in the story? OR MAYBE THAT IS THE THING, that Rose is so determined to norm her way through it. AW, ROSE. I PROMISE IT'S OKAY TO LOVE YOUR LADY BFF. 

Let's take this moment to revisit this hella bro screencap from the trailer:

Yeah that looks platonic to me.

I am a little more dubious about this in the movie, if I'm honest, just because it's so much easier to handwave using two girls being vaguely sexual at each other as a selling point because it's done so fucking often just for the sake of it in movies etc. BUT I haven't finished the book and I haven't seen the film so I can't say one or the other, just - I would love to have my suspicions proved wrong! GO TEAM NOT BRO LADIES!

ANYWAY, Back in the cafeteria, Rose does a quick scan of the room and uses this opportunity to get the lowdown on who Unnamed Doll Girl actually is. HOORAY A NAME FOR THAT LADY CHARACTER \o/! Her name is Mia Rinaldi and she's actually only a year younger than Rose and Lissa. 

Also of note in this cafeteria of conveniently placed people is Jesse Zeklos:

"You flirted with the other guys simply for the sake of flirting. You flirted with Jesse Zeklos in the hopes of getting semi-naked with him. "

THAT'S MY GIRL, ROSE. I really do love how open and positive Rose is about sex etc. It's always so refreshing to see a non-shamed, sex (or least sexual choices)-positive female character in YA. ROSE ILU KEEP DOING WHAT (AND WHO) YOU'RE DOING <3

Rose gets her chance to flirt with Jesse as he passes by, much to the envy of all the other girls at the table. Rose is just like SIGH bc although Jesse is apparently hotter than the sun, the Moroi see dhampir girls as an interesting conquest because they look different than the "slim and small-chested Moroi girls". I FEEL THAT SIGH, ROSE. I mean, it is nice to see neither body type being slammed or put down but STILL, I am not feeling at all the need to compare lady types. In society as well as in books, obviously; this is not a book-specific note!

ANYWAY: THE ANYWAY REMIX. Lissa and Rose head off to afternoon classes but don't get to talk that much because they are dealing with people staring at them and/or trying to joke around with the other kids in attempts to fit back in, at which endeavor Rose is having a lot more success, mainly because she is able to relax a lot more. After class, Lissa asks what they're going to do and Rose is straight up like IF IT CAME TO IT, I WOULD TOTALLY BREAK US OUT OF HERE AGAIN and means it, even though she's also a bit like WHELP I HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT WOULD WORK BUT BY GOD I WOULD MAKE IT HAPPEN. Lissa is grateful but also thinks they should maybe stay a while. She thinks Rose had missed school and getting to practice to be a guardian and also (and this is the lovely sneak creepy bit) she's been feeling like someone's been watching her.

(I BET IT'S PROBABLY EVIL UNCLE VICTOR DASHKOV AND/OR SOMEONE HE'S HIRED FOR THE JOB. I'M JUST SAYING.)

Rose does not take this news that well, though it's less the news itself and more what it means for Lissa. Apparently they had this teacher called Ms. Karp, who was a bit.... off, and constantly obsessed with the idea that people were watching them or that they weren't safe, and Rose can't stand the thought of thinking Lissa might be like that teacher they all thought was a bit cuckoo. I am willing to bet right now that Ms. Karp a) was right and b) is now probably dead. SORRY ABOUT THAT, MS. KARP. ARE YOU OUR SACRIFICIAL AUTHORITY FIGURE FOR THE BOOK?

Nevertheless, Rose has some conditions for the pair of them to stay at the school and primarily they involve Lissa staying away from the Moroi royals. With Andre, Lissa's brother, dead, Lissa is the heir to the Dragomir throne and Rose is still super worried that she is a target because of it. They left the school two years ago because Lissa became convinced she wasn't safe there and Rose is still ON HER DAMN GUARD. (THANK YOU, ROSE.) 

~~~*~~~QUICK DEPARTMENT OF EXPOSITION DANCE~~~*~~~

The Dragomirs, Lissa's family, is one of the 12 ruling Moroi families. 

~~~*~~~SPEEDY ABOUT TURN FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF EXPOSITION~~~*~~~

Rose is just worried about Lissa because she isn't good at political games and OBV with being a princess, people are going to be playing them with her whether she wants to be part of that world or not. Rose is worried that it's just going to get Lissa hurt and upset and obviously that turns Rose a bit ROSE HULKSMASH as we have seen gloriously already. Her compromise is that they stay for now but the second anything seems shady, they are OUTTIE.

And who should rock up just as Rose is declaring this loudly in a public space? Why, Dimitri Ponytail of course!

(At this point, I think we know Dimitri Ponytail well enough that I could just call him Dimitri but it is amusing me so much to continually remember that he has a ponytail and is wearing one of those swishy leather Constantine coats so I am going to keep calling him Dimitri Ponytail until some of that stops being funny. I WOULD NOT HOLD MY BREATH FOR THAT TO BE SOON.)

Rose is basically just like HA HA HA WHAT PLAN TO ESCAPE NO THERE'S NONE OF THAT HERE and goes with Dimitri for their first training session. As she walks away from Lissa, she gets a really strong sense of Lissa's cloud of confused emotions and them WHAM she's sucked into being in Lissa's head again.

This is such a cool narrative device, I think, because it's almost like having two POV characters - in that we get to see events happening outside of Rose's exact location and experience - but without losing the third person limited POV style or Rose's narrative bias. KUDOS, RICHELLE MEAD *_*

What Lissa is doing is wandering into the Academy's Russian Orthodox church. 

~~~*~~~QUICK DEPARTMENT OF EXPOSITION MEMO~~~*~~~

Another difference between Strigoi and Moroi is their respective tolerance level for the sun. Strigoi can't cope with it at all but Moroi can stand some (limited) exposure.

~~~*~~~DEPARTMENT OF EXPOSITION MEMO RECEIVED~~~*~~~

Although Rose says she barely believes in God and chooses to sleep in rather than attend any Sunday church services, Lissa has always regularly attended mass. In the church now, she takes a moment for herself. She's always used this church as a place to gather her thoughts and to get some time to herself, and right now she is thinking this:

"'Breathe, just breathe,' she told herself. 'It'll be okay. Rose will take care of everything.'

This panda and I both feel TUMBLE DOWN FEETS about this.

Just as Lissa's relaxing in her faith in Rose (SIDENOTE: :3 :3 :3), a voice comes from the shadows. The voice belongs to Christian Ozera, another Moroi student but -- 

WHAT NOW OH MY GOD.

~~~*~~~LAST TRIP TO THE DEPARTMENT OF EXPOSITION FOR THE DAY~~~*~~~

SOME MORE KEY DIFFERENCES BETWEEN STRIGOI AND MOROI: 

1) Moroi are mortal; Strigoi are immortal.

2) Moroi are alive; Strigoi are undead.

3) Moroi are born; Strigoi are always made. 

There are a couple of ways to make a Strigoi: either a Moroi is bitten by a Strigoi and turned like your traditional vamping, or a Moroi chooses to become a Strigoi by deliberately killing a human during a feeding. This act is considered the worst sin a Moroi can commit, which makes sense given what we've heard of the giant Moroi v. Strigoi war and therefore, if they choose this, the Moroi-turned-Strigoi then loses all their affinity/specialization and other magic. 

~~~*~~~BYE DEPARTMENT OF EXPOSITION SEE YOU NEXT TIME~~~*~~~

Guess what, everyone? Christian's parents were Strigoi so Rose is obviously TOTALLY COOL ABOUT HIM BEING ALONE IN A DARK CHURCH WITH LISSA HA HA HA I LIED SHE IS SUPER SUPER NOT.

Carry on to Chapter 5, in which Rose continues to be COOL ABOUT THIS. (coming Friday!)